“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*ck on.” ― Tupac Shakur
The reality is that when it comes to the roundabout of life, when something is done – it is done. There is no rewind, No Ctrl Z and No re-takes. Yes, you can possibly re-steer a situation by manner of many things, but you cannot erase what has already transpired.
For the most part, I believe this to be a very good thing, because quite frankly we would never really learn much about much if we did not have to live through the consequences of our actions and decisions – however, this can sometimes offer some really bitter pills to swallow – but as they say, it is normally the medicine that tastes the worst that is the most effective.
One would think that after repeatedly running full speed into a brick wall, realising afterward that the result is anything but ideal – would prompt us humans to perhaps stop for a moment prior to impact and consider the end result before charging forward, but the fact of the matter is that most of us appear to be slow learners haha! And most of us seem to need a few attempts at that before we realise that it simply isn’t a good idea… but whether its once or many, there is absolutely NO point in crying about it afterward.
There is no point in wallowing in a pool of regret, after the fact. That is about as effective as chewing gum because you are hungry.
“It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on.” ― Steve Maraboli
It is seldom that you will re-visit the same situation and gain a different end result. Nine times out of ten you will get exactly the same thing each and every time, which to my mind, is life’s little way of telling us that there is a lesson to be learned in that outcome and we would be best to step over the puddle of milk we have just spilled on the floor - and keep walking with the knowledge of how better to handle the bottle next time around!
And keeping this in mind, there is then NO sense in even sparing a single thought to worrying about it because this would mean that we are ignoring the very obvious sign boards of life and when you do that – you end up doing the same thing again and again… and sometimes again! Lol
“Regret comes late. Don't wait for him!” ― Toba Beta
This takes me to the very frequently heard saying that “everything happens for a reason” – yes, it does! Well I believe this to be true at any rate. Nothing happens because nothing happened - everything operates in ripples but the trick is in the learning how to ride that wave versus trying to swim against it or drowning in it.
Accept what has happened. Deal with the consequences accordingly and then… move on and STOP looking backwards. Stop re-hashing it in your mind, killing yourself with regret or “what if’s”. - What if’s will drive a person to dementia! Lol – true story!
“I don't do regrets. Regrets are pointless. It's too late for regrets. You've already done it, haven't you? You've lived your life. No point wishing you could change it.” ― Lemmy Kilmister
When something is done – accept that. You might not like what you did, or what somebody else did to you – but standing still and staring at the matter lying in pieces on the floor is doing nothing but wasting your time.
Deal with it in whatever way is within your power (and within reason) and then carry on with your life. If the situation was ever meant to move in a direction that would ultimately have pleased you, then it will unfold like that naturally and of its own accord.
It really is as simple as that.
“In life you find pleasure. In life you find pain. Pain and pleasure is an example of the duality in life. Enjoy them both, they are part of the ride. The key is to not turn the pain into something else - regret.” ― J.R. Rim
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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