Last night I got caught up in an "emotionally reflective moment" as I sat and listened to a live video of Linkin Park performing the song "crawling", I began contemplating how utterly sad not only the song was, but also his story and the way in which it ended.
I thought I might write a post about it today but in all honesty, (much like I mentioned in the Steemit telegram group the other night) I had forgotten all about the "article idea" by this morning... that was, until I listened to @theycallmedan's chill and curate session from the other day.
Amidst responding to one of the posts he was exploring he began talking about how everything else in life falls into place when the "default" - ie. YOU, as an individual - an INDEPENDENT ENTITY are happy with yourself and the path you are walking on. Hearing this reminded me about my thought process last night which was inspired by that live performance. This is the track I am referring to...
I watched the video a few times, because I enjoy being "swallowed" in the moment of an artists musical journey. Songs, to me - are somebody's story. The lyrics come from a meaningful place and are a form of poetry in their own right. The videos also add another dimension to the story. As you can see this particular performance was live and I was struck by the almost intimate interaction which he had with his audience and vice versa... yet as I witnessed that I was hit with the reality that none of that meant anything... not to him anyway. It had absolutely NO impact on his then life. It did not matter how much adoration he received from his millions of fans... he lacked love for himself and that in itself somewhat rendered everything else obsolete. Like I said in my comment to Dan, it would not have mattered if his money, fame and fanbase had quadrupled, it would not have changed the fact that he was not happy within himself and there really is no amount of external influence that can change that. It simply HAS to come from within.
“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away.”
I can relate to this on many fronts. I know that if I am in a state of emotional turmoil, it does not matter WHAT "candy floss solutions" I might try to dress the wound with - I know they are always short lived, until I get honest with myself and tackle the REAL issue at hand - internally! Then and ONLY then, am I able to move past the "barrier". The acceptance of this process is a real game changer but it requires a level of BRUTAL honesty with yourself. You also need to learn how to create new habits, one of the most pivotal being the shift in your self-talk.
For me, even writing the articles I do is a part of that process. We are all "works in progress" if you will, and my writing is often my contribution to my own mental and emotional health.
Most people are actually incredibly negative in their self-talk and in many instances are not even aware of the fact that they are doing it. Compound this by years or even a lifetime - is it any surprise that the outcomes are not desirable? Developing self-love is not about ego, arrogance or being self absorbed... it is about discovering yourself, being honest with that person and then learning to hold a sense of appreciation for your complete individuality.
As a mother, I cannot even count how many times in a day that I tell my son I love him and no matter what that count actually is, it is never enough…. It could never be, because there is no end to my love for him. I wonder how many of us could say the same for the way in which we speak to ourselves… How often do you tell yourself “I love you”, "you did really well", "this is a moment to be proud of" or "I look good today"? I am going to guess that 99% of you would have answered “not very often, if ever” to that question. And how often do you verbalise positive affirmations to yourself, about you as an individual, life situations etc. - probably not very often either.
In a society riddled with negativity, I think that developing daily habits that contribute toward healthy levels of self-love and respect is more important now than it has ever been. Media bombards us on a continuous basis - It is truly relentless in fact, and for the most part, we do not walk away feeling better about ourselves. Take beauty magazines for instance… from cover to cover they are filled with visuals of people with bodies and faces that most of us will never have and clothes that wouldn’t even fit a broomstick. I don’t read them anymore because I find that they leave me feeling empty or somewhat inadequate.
“Affirmations are our mental vitamins, providing the supplementary positive thoughts we need to balance the barrage of negative events and thoughts we experience daily.” ― Tia Walker
The reality of the matter is that in order for each and every one of us to lead a truly “happy” life, we need to learn not only to be completely honest with ourselves, our emotions and our choices but also to speak positively to ourselves on a regular basis and to develop a healthy self-love too. Living a life where you actively practice self-loving acts is so critical, because the way you see and feel about yourself, influences absolutely everything else in your life. Your job choices, your partner choices, how you handle stressful situations, how you handle your children, EVERYTHING!
Try starting each day by telling yourself something positive and if you can muster the courage… do it in front of a mirror. Tell yourself how good you look or perhaps congratulate yourself on a certain achievement – or simply say “I love you.” This might feel a little awkward or silly in the beginning, but you will become more comfortable with it as the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months… Learn to be patient with yourself too… Self-love is something that develops over a life time and most of us only start actively practicing this as adults.
In addition to the morning “chat” you have with yourself, try adding to it by surrounding yourself with positive affirmations, whether on your fridge door, in frames on a wall or on your dressing table mirror…
I used to do this in my shop and my customers absolutely LOVED it. Everywhere you looked in my shop there were positive quotes to be read and I got comments every single day about how much they loved coming to our establishment. We also had a large bowl in the front of the shop filled with little quote cards for them to take, so that they could take a little bit of that positivity home with them. You will be amazed how wonderfully impactful this is.
I was told by a customer once that my shop was a "total power house" and that she literally FELT her mood and energy improve and increase when she would come and visit us. That was ALWAYS my goal and it was probably the GREATEST compliment I EVER received - better than ANY sale ever made or production order ever placed! I LOVED knowing that people felt GOOD when they walked into the space that I had created. I loved watching them tap their feet and quietly sing along to the tunes playing as they went about their business... it really WAS a power house, and yes - that remark made to me was the inspiration for our @steemitbloggers new brand name :)
The brain will believe anything it is told often enough and if you are filling it with positivity all day, every day, this will begin to steer you in a different direction. Self-love, acceptance and motivation is ALL a growth process… and the longer you repeatedly and regularly practice such acts of “kindness” towards yourself and others, the more you will discover that you better accept your weaknesses – therefore judging yourself AND others less harshly.
“From that point on, having also added the belief that affirmations really work, not only did my memory continue to improve, but I created affirmations for every area of my life that I wanted to advance I began using affirmations to improve my health, finances, relationships, overall happiness, confidence, as well as any and all beliefs, mindsets and habits that needed an upgrade. Nothing was off limits. There are no limits!” ― Hal Elrod
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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