Perhaps it is just me and the way things have repeatedly unfolded in my life, but I find it funny, how (often) as women, when we are single, we are enormously independent. We could literally take on the world. We are intelligent, passionate go-getters and very driven! - Yet when we enter into long term relationships, we become ‘comfortable’ with the so called ‘roles’ of each gender and to some degree (in my opinion anyway)… lose ourselves, our passion, a degree of our confidence and mostly our belief in our amazing capabilities and ourselves in general.
I am not making this statement as a negative one, but rather as an observation of something that simply seems to happen. It is not that we cannot do the things that men do around the home (and vice versa), it is simply a matter of slipping into our socially conditioned and naturally inclined roles of being the ‘ home maker’ whilst allowing (and often being provocatively amused by) the men in our lives, to act out theirs. There is not a heterosexual woman on planet earth that is not impressed by a man who knows how to use his hands……….to build!! (keep it clean people!) – fix, or do anything remotely similar. Much like there is no man alive that isn’t equally besotted with a woman who can, and will prepare and serve a delicious meal, bring him a cup of coffee in bed in the mornings - and so on…
I guess this is not the case with many (modern) relationships these days (from what I can tell anyway) – but for me – whilst I might be a business owner and career driven woman, I am still a mother and ‘partner’. When I am home, my fundamentals are the things that old school women from ‘yester-year’ used to take care of. Packing lunches, cooking dinner, doing homework, laundry etc. and I am often made acutely aware that the fact that I cook a home-made meal for my family every night (not the kind that comes out of a freezer box) is quite rare these days.
Today – I decided to momentarily forget my responsibilities from “yester-year” and slept late – like 10am late (this is miraculous for a mother of a 7 year old for those that are oblivious). I vegetated on the couch, had another snooze, and listened to the background sounds of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, while I drifted into oblivion. Then I watched an amazing romantic comedy called “what if” – it was a quirky love story which I enjoyed from start to end – as we girls do –
As the afternoon turned to evening and the movie came to an end… the gas heater decided that its current canister was also all out of enthusiasm – and gas! – As it spluttered, moaned and finally died!
I stood; looking at it, remembering how many times my partner had requested that I, at the very least pay attention to him changing the canister so that I could be “sure” that I would know how to change it, should I ever be left in this situation. Well, needless to say, I never did.
Now this is precisely one of those moments that I referred to earlier. It is not that I cannot change the gas canister – I mean it literally consists of two screws and a nose washer – but… I never do this?! So that fact alone just made it all feel wrong. Haha!
Our house is literally like a morgue in any season other than the peak of Summer, so it was either freeze for the rest of the evening and lose the wonderful ambience of the gas heater -or – go and get the power tools! Power tools it was!
Or… power tool, rather. “Bzzzzt, Bzzzzt” unscrew, screw - Done.
Genius, right?! – I know! I felt very invigorated and proud of myself as I stood in front of the mirror with the cordless screwdriver repeatedly pressing the Bzzzzt button and smiling at my reflection! Lol. I mean, I figured out the left and right direction on it and everything! Hahahaha! (Ok I am really down-playing my intelligence here, for those that missed that)
But it made me think – such a simple task to complete, actually had me standing there doubting myself for a moment.
Well – that rubbish needs to come to an end! – With immediate effect! Haha! It’s laughable really - considering all the complex tasks I deal with on a day to day basis at work.
Women are too quick to doubt themselves – or perhaps people in general. We need to learn how to find faith in ourselves, cherish it and ultimately – grow it! There is a quote that has always resonated with me quite strongly (despite my often lack of actioning it. Lol) –
“Do something, at least one thing – everyday – that scares you.”
Perhaps these words are something for us to all consider in the roads that are our lives. Besides – power tools are fun! ;)
And on that note, I am going to resume my position on the couch, in front of the renewed gas heater and enjoy yet another romantic comedy…
Ps… in the spirit of my post yesterday, I discovered a couple of beautiful tracks from the movie mentioned earlier and thought I would share them…
And for those into “romcoms”… this was the movie :)
Until next time…
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Driven, passionate, opinionated and ever evolving, eternal optimist. Lover of life!